The Effects of Living With an Alcoholic Spouse
It can be difficult to know what to do to minimize conflict and stress, support your loved one, and tend to your own needs at the same time. Having an alcoholic spouse is not a situation you will be forced to go through alone. Some people have gone through and are going through the same situation, and they can offer insight, advice and understanding. When you live with a spouse who has an alcohol use disorder, taking care of yourself is important.
If you love someone with an alcohol use disorder, there will be good days, hard days, and ‘not sure I can keep dealing with this’ days. While love alone can’t fix the problem, there are things you can do to support your loved one while protecting your own well-being. Do free yourself from blame, know when to step back, and understand that they need outside help. Don’t take things personally, accept the unacceptable, or enable their behavior. You can maintain your peace while supporting their recovery by setting clear boundaries and encouraging them to get treatment. There is also a risk of domestic and emotional violence when spending time with an alcoholic spouse.
Don’t enable your alcoholic spouse or try to prevent consequences
Accepting unacceptable behavior usually begins with some small incident that you brush off with, “They just had too much to drink.” But the next time, the behavior may get a little worse and then even worse. You might slowly begin to accept more and more unacceptable behavior. Before you realize it, you can find yourself in a full-blown abusive relationship. You just happen to love someone who is probably going to need professional treatment to get healthy again. For those who love someone living with an addiction, it is very difficult to sit back and let the crisis play out to its fullest extent. When they reach the point in their substance use when they get a DUI, lose their job, or go to jail, for example, it can be difficult to accept that the best thing they can do in the situation is nothing.
- But it’s likely that you haven’t thought much about yourself other than to ask, “What can I do?
- When you’re married to someone with an AUD, your relationship will often come second to their relationship with alcohol.
- This helpful tool lists rehab centers within the area where you can find professional help for your loved one.
- Other studies and statistics indicate that violence and being harmed is one of the biggest problems that spouses and partners face.
- These therapeutic approaches can help couples navigate the challenges of addiction, rebuild trust, and develop healthier ways of relating to one another.
- Reach out to support groups for spouses of alcoholics, such as support for spouses of alcoholics, where you can connect with others who understand your experiences.
What to Say to Someone with Addiction
We publish material that is researched, cited, edited and reviewed by licensed medical professionals. The information we provide is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. It should not be used in place of the advice of your physician or other qualified healthcare providers. It should not be used in place of the advice of your physician or other qualified healthcare provider. Treatment options such as individual therapy and couples therapy provide valuable support and guidance for both the non-alcoholic spouse and the alcoholic spouse. These therapeutic approaches can help couples navigate the challenges of addiction, rebuild trust, and develop healthier ways of relating to one another.
Maintaining a positive attitude, even if you eventually have to leave your spouse, is the best way to achieve that. Your instinct is to respond to your spouse with anger when you know he or she has been drinking. It is very hard to believe that your spouse is no longer making an active choice to drink. However, when someone is an alcoholic, the choice to drink is no longer within their control, at least to some extent. “Relationship functioning among adult children of alcoholics.” Journal of Studies on Alcohol and Drugs, November 2008. Codependency is a psychological condition or relationship where a person has an unhealthy attachment to another person, who is often controlling or manipulative.
Living with an Alcoholic Son or Daughter
There are support groups for people whose friends or family live with an sun rock weed thc alcohol use disorder, and individual therapy helps develop and promote coping skills for handling an alcoholic family member. This type of relationship is common among partnerships where one or both people have a substance use disorder, including alcohol. This behavior can come in many different dynamics and affect spouses, parents, children, friends and other family members of alcoholics. Helping a partner who struggles with alcohol misuse and coping with the choices they make is too hard to do alone. Lean on close family and friends, find a therapist, and join a community mutual-help group made up of others like you—the partners, parents, and other loved ones of individuals with alcohol use disorder. Al-Anon, one of these groups for the family members of individuals with alcohol use disorder, has chapters throughout the country and can provide support for you.
The level of treatment needed depends on the severity of alcohol use and their willingness to participate. The mascot is the family member who tries to lighten the situation through humor. They may try to prevent moments of discomfort that the person with an alcohol use disorder may cause.
The dos of living with an alcoholic partner
When you call our team, you will speak to a Recovery Advocate who will answer any questions and perform a pre-assessment to determine your eligibility for treatment. If eligible, we will create a treatment plan tailored to your specific needs. If The Recovery Village is not the right fit for you or your loved one, we will help refer you to a facility that is. They are the “problem child” who distracts the family from the person with a substance use disorder. The scapegoat is an outlet for the family to direct some of their anger and frustration while neglecting the real problem.
If you live with an alcoholic spouse, you may find their drinking affects your life as well. To cope, you can help your alcoholic family member into treatment as well as learn when it’s time for you to leave the relationship. Another important lasting effect, with many other potential consequences, is the break-up of the relationship and family. There may be estrangement between children and the parent, divorce, and separation that causes emotional issues for a long period of time.
Our knowledgeable staff can help advise on the best course of action for your spouse based on their unique situation. However, sometimes the actions you take out of love may be enabling your partner to drink. For instance, if you drive them everywhere so they don’t get a DUI, bail them out of jail, or pay for their alcohol-related damages, you are, in effect, supporting their addiction.
If you’re seeking help for yourself or a loved one, our expert team is here to guide you every step of the way. Working with a therapist who understands alcoholism and the toll it takes on families and who knows how to help those who are codependent is very helpful to people living with alcoholics. Living with an alcoholic spouse might be one of the biggest challenges you’ve ever undertaken. However, if you follow these tips, you’ll find that you may be able to cope better. With that in mind, here are seven tips that you must read, review, and remember to help you cope with your alcoholic spouse.
122 total views, 6 views today